Question #N761
The story begins with the protagonist, a young woman named Maya, reminiscing about her childhood. She describes the small town where she grew up, and how she loved to explore the woods behind her house. However, a sense of foreboding pervades the narrative, as Maya recalls a disturbing incident that took place in those woods.
Which of the following revisions of the underlined portion would be most effective in making the sentence concise and clear?
A. The story begins with the protagonist, a young woman named Maya, reminiscing about her childhood, and describing the small town where she grew up. She loved to explore the woods behind her house.
B. The story begins with the protagonist, a young woman named Maya, reminiscing about her childhood. She describes the small town where she grew up, and she loved to explore the woods behind her house. However, a sense of foreboding pervades the narrative, as Maya recalls a disturbing incident that took place in those woods.
C. The story begins with the protagonist, a young woman named Maya, reminiscing about her childhood. She describes the small town where she grew up. She loved to explore the woods behind her house. However, a sense of foreboding pervades the narrative, as Maya recalls a disturbing incident in those woods.
D. The story begins with the protagonist, a young woman named Maya, reminiscing about her childhood, and how she loved to explore the woods behind her house; however, a sense of foreboding pervades the narrative, as Maya recalls a disturbing incident that took place in those woods.
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Correct Answer is: C
Choice C is the most effective revision because it eliminates unnecessary words and phrases, making the sentence more concise and clear. The phrase "and how she loved to explore the woods behind her house" is redundant, as the information is already implied in the previous clause. Additionally, using a semicolon to separate the clauses in Choice D is unnecessary and creates a slightly awkward pause in the sentence.